Monday, January 5, 2009

The Name Game

One problem with being a teacher is there are so many names I can no longer name my children now.  All it takes is one knucklehead to ruin the name for you forever.  And unfortunately, because most humans cannot go through life without gaining a few biases, we sometimes groan if we see a child with this name joining our class.  So here is a brief list of names that most teachers have been burned by.

Mike- Michael's are usually fine, Mikey's can be questionable, but Mike is a kiss of death
Jesus- Why is it no Jesus can live up to his namesake?
Adam- Unlike Jesus, Adam's do live up to their namesake: often naive and dim humans easily led into trouble by girls.
Most boys' J names- Jeremy, Justin, Jake, Jordan: I'm not sure what it is about the J that makes a boy a pain, but most J's do that (Jose's are exempt.  I don't know why).

And for the girls?
Any flower name- please, no more Lily, Jasmine or Daisy, though I've had good luck with Rose and Rosa.
Angel- Like Jesus, Angel's don't live up to their namesakes (Angela's, however, are fine)
Names with overly inventive spellings- Mickaeyla, Jaeszerae, Naetalya- First, we get off on a bad foot because I have no idea how to pronounce your name on day 1.  It just goes downhill from there.

What names fill me with bliss?  I've liked every Jose I ever had.  Lena was my best student ever.  Natalie.  Chris.  Mitchell Oh, and a good student with a bad name can unpoison a bad name.  So if your child has one of the names mentioned above, all is not lost.  Just make sure they bring gifts (that's how Mitchell got on the good list.  Mmmmm.....lemon bars.......).


Phen said...

Sorry haven't read in a while... with the move an' all.

As for this post, the Pygmalion Effect comes to mind... :p

Mrs. W said...

Hey, no problems! Just glad to see you around again.

Phen said...

By the way, I stumbled upon your blog via failblog :P. It was a good read, figured you could use an audience :)